S Curve

I loved the
Intoxicating rush
Tumbling up the slope of progress
Burning through the letters
E, D, C
Powered by the dregs of
Youthful competence

And now…
Molasses

Each next step--
Asymptotic effort
Each teeny victory--
10x the preparation

Plot my progress:
Time at the gym, number of practice bouts…
Results at competition
Does this flattened arc
Forecast the future?
Have I banged up hard against my
Innate limitations?

My improvements come in
Geologic time
While I am faced
With biologic deadlines

I fear
No matter how I hone the knife edge
Of my skills
I’m doomed to never be the
Sharpest in the drawer
Seeking enlightenment, I’m
Simply a dim bulb when it comes to
Strategy

Can I bifurcate my mind—
Be content
Accepting life as
Perfect as it is
Even as I push myself to
Higher altitudes
However short of breath?

Now might be the time to cultivate a willful ignorance
Of calculus, of probability, of trends

And be the sort of blessed, idiotic optimist beloved of the gods

Manners

Proper salutation
Not some half-assed
Bobble of the blade

Shake with true regard

Don't slap, or cringe as if avoiding

Leprosy

Hold on to the socket
Hand it to
The next one up

Extra credit: when defeated
Cheer your opponent
In their next DE

Share—snacks, chairs, credit,
Spare equipment, everything but blame
Courtesy’s embedded in the nature of our game

Psychology

Anger is a chancy fuel
Posing danger of
Unregulated burn

Righteous indignation is
An awesome flare
But iffy to maintain

Unhappiness is
Water on the flame
Unlikely precondition for success

I’d rather cultivate a
Calm and eager heart, a joyous, steady conflagration
Powering my touch

So tickle me before a competition
Rather than tick me off—
Tease with gentle conundrums

Primed for laughter
Poised for combat, heedless of success
My creativity unfurls

Remind me I know
All I need to know, I need only
Get out of the way

Lulled with confidence my mind will abdicate
Responsibility, settle down
With popcorn, cheering from the side

As all the proper actions happen by themselves
Just as you say they should…

Home Base

Equipment bags strategically deployed
Demarcating territory
Temporary lodgings
Tribal bivouac

Scattered sweaty fragments of our gear
Jackets draped across the chairs in the
Vain hope they will dry
Before DEs

The cookie box, proffering
Sugar courage
Consolation, solace
Well-earned rewards

Here we gravitate to trade
Encouragement, advice and news
Touch, hug, fist-bump, offer
Sympathy for unjust calls, hurrahs for victory

They strike the strips and
We decamp as well, scattering
Debris of battle
Candy wrappers, bits of tape, a crumpled list of scores

It will be bigger, better, bannered at the
Next stop upon our migratory route of competition!

How to Choose a Coach (A Dichotomous Key, in Blank Verse)

A) Do you thrive and grow with:
1) Positive feedback, praise and reinforcement. If yes → American
2) Detailed explanations of the myriad ways that you fall short.→ Proceed to B

B) Do you react to pain by:
1) Stopping to rest and heal. If yes → American
2) Recognizing injury for what it is—a weakness of the will. → Proceed to C

C) Do you need:
1) words to parse what you do right, instructions to improve. If yes → American
2) or, can you deduce from foil’s twitch, a shrug, a snort, a mimicked lapse, a disapproving silence, what needs to be done? → Proceed to D

D) Do you believe that:
1) Pleasantry, the random joke or smile, a little kidding, make a lesson fun and, therefore, more effective? If yes → American
2) Niceness is insincere, therefore the enemy of the good. → Proceed to E

E) Is your reaction to a threat that bids fair to kill you (body, soul) to:
1) Run like hell. If yes → American
2) Embrace it as the path to true salvation? → Proceed to F

F) Do you accept that any good result arises from your Coach’s talent and instruction, all failure from your own deficiencies?
If yes → find yourself a Russian coach, sign in blood and brace yourself for one long, hard, painful, interesting ride.
But never say you were not warned….

In Transit

Idled in security
Packing and repacking my ominous equipment
Gleeful explanations…

Obnoxious yoga at the gate
My deepest Warrior I, a wobbly Crow
Diverting restless energy

Discreetly flaunting biceps
Angling to show the
Ostentatious bruise upon my arm

On the laptop, competition video
Hoping for the question
“There, on the left, that’s me. That colored light? My touch.”

Inevitable queries
“How do you pack your swords?”
“Doesn’t it hurt?”

And (my favorite)
“You get paid for this?”
(Pause for silent laughter)

Absolutely conscious of the
Transitory glory of the world
The brevity of my bit part

I’ll play it to the hilt, while
Waiting for the action to begin

Taxonomy (continued)

Diagnostic answers to the question, “whose touch?”

Mine! Didn’t you see me take the blade!?!
You missed! Remised!
I think there’s a dead spot in your lamé…

***

Yours, I do believe
I felt you take the blade
Ever so light
A very sweet parade-riposte
Well done!

***

Dunno—together?
I can’t tell
Who started first
Let’s throw it out

I ask again—where do you see yourself?

The Middle Distance

I can
Sneak inside your reach
Nip you in the side
Harass you with impunity
Or,
Skip away and taunt you with
My
Inaccessibility
Receding possibility of
Your victorious attack

Split the difference?
Smack gob in the center and I’m
Dead meat
Easy target
Ice cream on a stick
Habiting the dread Bermuda triangle that
Swallows my defense
Makes me easy prey
Tattles my intent

Oblivious to when I
Cross the border to this
No-man’s land I
Suffer the delusion that I
Bob and weave
Float and glide
With matchless grace
Actually I
Hop in place
Tethered to the strip

A bouncy badger ball

Lesson learned? When
Inspiration fails
Mind blanks

Spirit flags
Score tilts in the wrong direction
If nothing else remember this one
Simple thing:

Move your badger ass!

Transmogrification

Somewhere I lost myself along the way

I thought I knew my hand...
And now I don’t

My foot a strange
Random appendage
Moving on its own
Appointed path

Passing the mirror I
Catch a stranger’s glance
And look away

Have I shed memory
Habits, inhibitions
Trimmed the edges of
Identity
Whittled down to my essential self

Or am I morphing,
Unhurried transformation to
An unfamiliar form?

And, (v. important please), if the latter
Is it an improvement on my former state?

Karma

I’m a bundle of
Habits and grooves

Programmed moves
Fettered by the
Sticky residue of
Ill-considered acts
Bad calls
Downfalls
Inconvenient facts

Starting clean I
Shed my shoes
Pad with pinky feet into
A fresh day
New start
Rebirth, renaissance and
Step into the
Gluey mess I fled

Petty words
Irascible verbs
Lies by omission
Losing with bad grace
Jealousy
Anxiety
Impropriety
Inflicted on my world

I need a dip in
Spiritual solvent
Soul stripper
Fate flipper
Acetone for destiny
Gotta
Break with my routine
Start clean
New regime

Epic transformation

Tabula rasa—good mission, great ambition.
Thus my petition—anybody got a rag?