Composition

Stubbled thoughts

Captured on

Scattered scraps of time

     A word

     A rhyme

Scribbled on the edges of the

Shopping list the

Catalog the

Phone bill's envelope

Crabbed script interlines agendas from

Forgotten meetings, maps my drifting mind with

     Marginalia

Fragments which I shuffle, seeking

Patterns, matches, places where the meter

     Interlocks,

The phrases

     Fit

Finding, filling

Cracks and imperfections until seamless verse

     Unspools

Unbroken lines

This is how I write

In stolen moments

Lulls between the squalls of

Work & life

Sudate Profits

Sweaty clothes

Expand

This uniform that fit so

Neatly in my

Bag

At 6 o’clock, now overflows, and

Barely lets me

Zip

Just so, I hope my perspiration swells my

Repertoire

Bulks up my

Skill &

Salts my game

I find it funny that this

Sodden practice may, in time, ensure

My fencing doesn’t stink

Conjugation

Flashback:

High school dating

Rigid, mute with

Fear of doesn't-matter-what

Utterly the worst me I could be

Normally I have

A little bit of humor

Wit and banter

Kind attention to my partner's

Actions,

State of mind

Intentions

Ability to laugh, shake off a moment's

Awkwardness

Put the conversation

Back on track

Firmly set the terms of this

Engagement

All frozen, vanished, fled

Just like competition

In the Salle, at practice, I’m

Loose

At ease,

With confidence that I won't

Look the fool

I make my moves and

Score

Making

No big deal of

Conquests

Casual seductions

After all,

Hooking up to fence is

No big deal

At the venue, all that flees and I revert to

Tongue-tied teen,

Too bashful to converse, all

Elbows, knees and awkward feet, undone by

Fatal hesitation

Unable to rebuff

Unwelcome overtures

Rough touch, aggressive

Exploration

When will the modicum of wisdom

Ease and

Social grace I've learned through bitter practice--

Forty years of polishing the edge--

Transpond to my blade?

When will I have confidence to

Set the terms of these

Speed-dating bouts, and

Longer flirting dances,

When will I

Choose yes, or no

Say now, or then

I guess I need a bit more practice

One year more, or two

Or ten

A dummies guide, a little coaching in

Relationships

Perhaps a nip to

Lower inhibitions

So I can get back in the game

Intolerance

What I thought I wanted

Needed

--Staff of life, the

Greatest thing since

yeast--

Providing strength, resilience

Elasticity

Suddenly, at this late date, revealed to be

A traitor

Much-beloved Judas

Poison to the bone

Life becomes a

Process of subtraction, of

Learning to omit,

Restrict, the

Carbing of desires

This is not Spartan virtue

Abstemious grace

Don’t believe the platitudes

Less isn’t more
less is simply…less

Less chew

Less heft

Fewer crannied nooks where butter

Glides and jelly lurks

Less wheaty smack

Less taste

Even if I wave away this loss as petty

Concede my sadness is a symptom of my

Gluteny

A deeper worry gnaws

If bread can prove a treasonist

What other parts of life that seem essential now are really

Toxins in disguise?

Check List

Is my shoulder loose my

Arm relaxed my

Grip upon the blade

Correct

Is my weight on my back

Leg my shins upright my

Hind foot tucked beneath my

Bum

Are my advances small and neat with

Variable speed and random

Length, always ready to

Leap back

Is my gaze glued to your chest

My distance finely gauged my

Lunge spontaneous and

Nicely timed

Got all that?

Yup. Neatly queued and tallied on the sheet

Each square ticked off.

So fabulous, now

God dammit, throw away the list

Priorities

Contemplating what went right, or wrong 
Concentrate all the things that worked 


Choosing between mastering arms, or legs 
Focus on the feet 


Faced with thinking of the start, or end 
Rivet on beginning right


Better yet, don't think

Seven Virtues

(A companion piece to A Catalog of Sins)

Temperance

Your shoelace is untied

Preserve me from temptation...

I would love to stomp

Valor

Even though I know

You're about to kick my butt

I take up my mask

Diligence

One hundred lunges

Despite my secret doubt that

It will really help

Patience

I strip the blade the

umpteenth time, and hope that now

The wire will stay put

Humility

Why embarrassment?

Who notices when I bomb out?

No one--only me

Charity

Having made the touch

You crow and strut and posture

I hide a smile

Empathy

I've been there,

Slumming at the bottom of the pool

Trust me, it gets better

Dopplegang

A stranger parallels my line

Padding up and down the strip

Lunging when I lunge

Spooked by my retreat

She's

Thinner than me

More graceful

Almost suave

And strong

Muscled thighs propelling tiny steps

Maybe we're related

Despite her lefty stance

I do detect a faint

Resemblance

Familial surmise

Maybe she reflects

My future

Or my past

Maybe if my inner mirror was more

True

She'd look even more like me

Or I like her

Maybe with unclouded eyes

I'd know myself, and knowing, become wise 

The Fencing Master

In memoriam, Bob Anderson

Hello,
Your name is not
Inigo Montoya


Before you stab and slash upon 
the strip
You have much to learn


Prepare to die

Resolution

Ease back

Don't leap at every challenge

Just because it's there

Rest

A little bit

Make space to heal, recharge

Renew

Waste a little time

Pilfered from work or practice

Spent on penny-candy: chat & tease & laughter

Caloric fellowship

Building towards a healthy social weight

Attend

To every letter, sentence, phrase

Plucked from the flow,

With utter concentration, but

Now & then

Unplug

From streaming, breathless news

Inconsequential urgencies

Be generous

In mentoring, in praise and

Reconciliation

Accept that people give

What they can give

No more, no less

And dammit, yet again, this year I do resolve to

Remove the tissues from my pocket when I do the wash