Conjugation

Flashback:

High school dating

Rigid, mute with

Fear of doesn't-matter-what

Utterly the worst me I could be

Normally I have

A little bit of humor

Wit and banter

Kind attention to my partner's

Actions,

State of mind

Intentions

Ability to laugh, shake off a moment's

Awkwardness

Put the conversation

Back on track

Firmly set the terms of this

Engagement

All frozen, vanished, fled

Just like competition

In the Salle, at practice, I’m

Loose

At ease,

With confidence that I won't

Look the fool

I make my moves and

Score

Making

No big deal of

Conquests

Casual seductions

After all,

Hooking up to fence is

No big deal

At the venue, all that flees and I revert to

Tongue-tied teen,

Too bashful to converse, all

Elbows, knees and awkward feet, undone by

Fatal hesitation

Unable to rebuff

Unwelcome overtures

Rough touch, aggressive

Exploration

When will the modicum of wisdom

Ease and

Social grace I've learned through bitter practice--

Forty years of polishing the edge--

Transpond to my blade?

When will I have confidence to

Set the terms of these

Speed-dating bouts, and

Longer flirting dances,

When will I

Choose yes, or no

Say now, or then

I guess I need a bit more practice

One year more, or two

Or ten

A dummies guide, a little coaching in

Relationships

Perhaps a nip to

Lower inhibitions

So I can get back in the game