Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Remedial Training

When I was 10 I got beat up

A lot

When you say “trust your body”
I’m not sure that it’s earned that trust
It was weak then
I fear it’s still weak now

It weeps at inconvenient moments
     Leaking from the seams
Lashes out in rage
     When calm would be the wiser course
Lusts at awkward times
     And in the wrong direction

You call these reactions
     Phenomena of mind
I feel quite clearly they arise from blood and bone
     Visceral machinations

Your body, whipcord thin
     Resilient yet unyielding
Has carried you through revolution
     Worlds turned upside down
Across the sea
     Bushwhacking a new life

Mine never faced such challenges and so remains
    Squishy, and unformed
Without the reflex of survival

But please, try, if you can, to teach me trust
And I will hope my instincts prove correct….


  1. Powerful stuff. I still think, though, that it is our minds that let us down more than our bodies. Yes, it is our bodies that cry and rage and lust, but it is our minds that judge the crying, raging and lusting good or bad. It is also our minds that decide how to act on the crying, raging and lusting. And yet, of course, our bodies will all let us down in the end. Is this why we punish them so?

  2. Wow.

    I understand that inability to trust oneself. Maybe that's the urge to keep pushing forward - to prove something to ourselves.